


Ww-wwater You Doing?

by Birdgirl



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Horn Stimulation, Horns, M/M, Troll Horns, horn touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-23 02:44:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/617216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birdgirl/pseuds/Birdgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another story in which John Egbert underestimates the sensitivity of troll horns. You should reely read it. ^_^</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ww-wwater You Doing?

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [Homestuck_Test_Prompt](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Homestuck_Test_Prompt) collection. 



> My first attempt at semi-smut. Okay I don't know if it really counts, but oh well. It's probably more like... sexy fluff. Sexy EriJohn fluff. Yeah, that's it.
> 
> Also, please excuse the abundances of fish puns... Eridan's obviously been spending a bit too much time at his best frond Feferi's, lately...

"Con air?"

"No, wwe wwatched that like ten fuckin' times, John."

"Little monsters?"

"No. No offense, but that one was glubbin' awwful."

"Aww, no it wasn't! Howie Mandel makes a great monster! Fine, if you wanna be like that, what movie do you want to watch?"

"Wwhale, let's sea… I am partial to Adolescent Fin-Tailed Sea Troll Princess Exchanges Flushed Feelings Wwith a Land-Dwweller Prince and Enlists the Help of a Sea Wwitch to Become a Land-Dwweller Herself but is Betrayed by the Wwitch Wwho is Then Slayed by the Prince Allowwing The Prince and Princess to Successfully Attain Matespritship… but that's just my personal opinion…"

"Duuude! You mean The Little Mermaid? No way- there's like no action at all! Just, like, singing fish!"

"Wwhat's your point?"

You watch as John smacks himself in the forehead. You're still not exactly sure what you said wrong, but you are totally getting off subject now. Wasn't this night going to be your chance to fill a quadrant? Yeah, John is a human, and you're fuckin' troll royalty- you already knoww that. But things are getting desperate- and you're running out of options. The buck-toothed boy may be your last chance. So what are you doing, sitting here and talking about movies? Time to get back on topic.

"Fine, wwhatever. You just pick a movvie, I don't reely care wwhich one."

You end up watching Con Air again. No idea how you got roped into it, but here you are, laying on John's bed, staring at the little TV on top of the cabinet. Well, at least, John is. You're staring at John, whose eyes are wide, lips forming the shapes of the words he knows so well. Soon it's his favorite part, and he's tearing up a little- just like he does EVERY TIME. No matter- this makes it the perfect time to do what you came for.

You inconspicuously scoot closer to him on the bed, and put your hand on his shoulder, putting on your most alluring face. John being john, of course, your forwardness is completely misconstrued. John looks straight into your face, a little confusedly, then brightens up and comes to the conclusion. Is it the right conclusion? One can hope…

"Oh! Sorry! I completely forgot the popcorn! Do you want popcorn? Karkat doesn't like popcorn, so that's why I probably forgot… wait, have you even tried it?"

"Um, wwhale actually-"

"That's right- trolls don't have popcorn, duhhh! Of course you haven't! Don't worry, I'll be back in a bit." He says, jumping off the bed and running into the kitchen. Once he's out of the room, you groan to yourself, and run a hand through your streaked hair. This is NOT working like you planned- the "Egderp", as Kar called him, was even more oblivious than you had anticipated. How was this ever going to work? Oh, face it, you would just be a loner forever. You might as well just-

"Glub!"

There is a finger on your horn. There is a FINGER on your HORN. The pad of it is running from bottom to top, teasing the tip.

"Wow, Eridan, these are pointy. I don't think Karkat's are this pointy, but then again he never let me touch them..."

Okay, okay. Just act normal. He'll stop soon. You can forget this ever happened. You can move on with your pitiful little lives and-

"G-g-glub!" He's reached the bottom, and is studying where your horn meets skin, sliding the hair away from that spot and rubbing gently. And holy glub, it feels so damn AMAZING. Too amazing- he really needs to stop. He really needs to-

"Ohhh…" both horns. He's rubbing both horns.

He heard you this time, and stops abruptly. "Eridan, are you okay?"

You open your eyes, not realizing you had closed them in the first place. You're sure you're blushing up to your gills. "Uh… I… wwell…"

He's looking at you expectantly. Man, were his eyes that blue before? You've never seen anything that blue- and for you, that's saying something. No, no, wait, you need to set this human straight. What he just did, that was… wrong. Reely, reely glubbin' wonderful, but still wrong.

"Uh… John… did… did Karkat… ever reely tell you… wwhy you don't touch someone's horns…?"

He stares at you quizzically. "No, why? Are they, like, sensitive or something?"

You swallow nervously. "Yeah, you could… you could say that. I mean… it's not a bad kind of sensitivve, but, wwell, it is sort of…" you trail off, because he's running that finger over your horn again. You shiver, head growing fuzzy. Holy mother of Dualscar, that's good.

"No, wwait-" you flick his hand away. "Stop… stop that. It's… too much."

He gives you that puzzled look again, and you suddenly feel like you're a lusus giving your grub the talk.

You take a deep breath. "You don't touch my horns, because, wwell… ok, glub, let me start ovver. John, do you know what the word… erotic… means? Like, when you masturbate?"

His eyes widen. "WHAT? Why would I- dude, don't talk about that! It's really gross to talk about in public! What does that even have to do with…"

He stops talking, and his mouth drops open. He's staring at your horns, then your face, and back to your horns again.

"Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my- Eridan, god, I am so sorry, I didn't-"

He leans forward, but accidentally trips and falls on you, hands on either side of your shoulders. He blushes a fierce red as he realizes how suggestive the situation has gotten. He goes to move off, but his knee is between your legs, and it's suddenly blatantly obvious exactly how aroused you've gotten. He looks at you, utterly embarrassed, blabbering something about I'm sorry and I didn't know and oh my gosh and all that. But one more look into his blue eyes, and you decide the time for talking is over. It's now or never.

You sit up abruptly, wrapping your arms around John's neck and pulling him down to lie flush against you, and pull him into a rather sloppy kiss- but you're too aroused to care. His eyes are saucers, now, and he's struggling, but in this position he can't get really far. You run your tongue along his top lip, and he shivers, unconsciously opening his mouth to let you in. You just start to explore before John forcefully pushes away, gasping.

"I… Eridan, I'm not a homosexual! I don't… I don't kiss guys! And I'm sorry if I accidentally… touched your horns… but- ahhh!"

You've raised your knee so that it grinds against John, making the boy gasp and shudder, closing his eyes tightly. Before he can say anything, you kiss him again, thrusting your tongue in his mouth, and a sound almost like a mewl comes forth from John. His eyes open in surprise, obviously not expecting such a lewd sound to come from his own mouth. You love it.

Slowly, you roll him over, so you're on top, moving your arms downwards to the hem of his shirt, caressing his sides. You slowly push it up, moving your lips to the side of his chin, kissing to his neck. His breathing is hard and heavy as you gently rub one of his nipples.

"I… Eridan… I can't…"

"Shhh…" you whisper in his ear, almost silently. Continuing your movements, you dip down, kissing and licking and nipping and sucking at the other nipple, enjoying the little moans that escape John's mouth with each little touch. A hard suck earns you a small cry, as John is lost in the sensations.

Taking it up a notch, you move your knee up again, slowly, back and forth, while you begin rubbing your own clothed bulge against his thigh, pulling him into a blistering kiss. John reciprocates gladly this time, grinding down onto your knee, searching for that wonderful friction. You're breathing hard now, as well, and both of you are getting close.

"E-Eridan… So good… I can't… much longer…"

You slide your free hand downwards, slipping it under the thin fabric, cupping him through is boxers, before pulling down the waistband, and gripping John firmly. You pump once, twice, thumbing the head.

"Eridaaahhhhh!!!"

He screams your name as he finishes, and his voice carries you over as well, paired with the utterly helpless expression on his face, and the perfect arch of his back as he was hit with waves and waves of his orgasm.

You roll over, spent. Wow, it looks a lot less exhausting in the movies. You look over to John, suddenly completely flipping your shit. What did you just do? Holy Jegus, what in the name of glub did you just DO?

This was supposed to be a lot more… romantic, right? Weren't you supposed to woo him- sweep the bucktoothed boy off his feet and make him undeniably pale for you, first? This, what just happened, was reely not your plan. You didn't even use a bucket.

He must hate you now, you decide. It's obvious, you practically raped the guy, after all. Even if… even if he was calling your name, like he did, and fuck if that wasn't the sexiest thing you ever heard- the point is, there is no way he could like you after this… what did Equius call it? Lewd. This horribly lewwd act. This is what you always did, in the end- pushed it just a little too far, or maybe a lot too far, and ended up alone.

John is still panting, eyes closed. You stared at him, absolutely exhausted and increasingly dreading. Silence for a minute. Two minutes. Five. Tension and awkwardness both keep you from speaking yet make you desperately want to, simultaneously. Your mouths open at the same time.

"Wwell…" "Well…" you both start at once.

John giggles, and it's as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. The tension instantly begins to dissipate, and almost fades completely. That is, if you don't count the enormously distracting trunkbeast in the room. John starts to speak again.

"So… okay, then. That was… oh gosh."

Your face is bright purple with embarrassment. You knew it. This was it, he would leave you now, just like all the others, he would-

"Well, I've learned two things out of all of this. No, wait, make that three."

You stare at him, puzzled.

"Number one, is that… well, there's no use denying that I am definitely not a homosexual, haha…"

Silence from both parties. All of a sudden John springs up, whipping around so that his face is mere inches from your now completely stunned one, his eyes on the top of your head.

"Number two. These are still fun to play with." he smiles, giving one of your horns a soft poke, then looking down at your flushed face.

"Third. We should probably, totally, really really really definitely do this again."

And then he's leaned in to kiss you, and then you know. Know that he's not going to leave you, that you don't have to be the lone sea prince forever. That John, pale, bucktoothed, soft, fleshy human John, was going to be there for you.

With that in mind, you fumble your hand around, clinging to the remote, and shut the TV off, right in the middle of Duncan Malloy's sentence.

 

'Beautiful? Sunsets are beautiful, newborn babies are beautiful. This… this is fucking spectacular!'

**Author's Note:**

> I dunno about you, but I could read these stories all day. I love it when John plays with the troll's horns- so innocent every time! Or is he…?


End file.
